A post to count

It was recommended to me that I start a journal, and in that I came to the realization that I should try to blog and put my thoughts where it was easy to get to, where I can get others opinions and so forth.

This would be my 3rd day of hardship and struggle in my current situation. I am worried about a lot of stuff that I feel may be overwhelming me at this time. I have been praying often for the guidance to pull me through this hard ordeal. I know God is looking out for myself, my Wife Rebecca and my Daughter Zada. I am having faith that my prayers are heard. They calm me a lot and help me through the struggle. I have may fears and challenges to overcome.

I write letters everyday in the hopes that they find there way safe to their destinations. I am going to stay positive about this, but in doing so, I also have to not overwhelm myself. I am also doing a chapter a day in a great marriage book, one that I did not take to serious earlier. I think this would have benefited me long ago if I would have done it with all my heart.

I watched the movie Fireproof last night, that is a very moving movie. I cried through most of it. It showed me how I should have been a better husband. I am much like the guy in the movie and have may of his pitfalls. I am all to certain now that I have to work very hard now if I am to salvage my future with the ones I love.

(Letter to God)
Dear God,

I know that you have full control of my life. I know that you have given us your son, to show us that even you can sacrifice yourself to us. I know that in that way, I am to sacrifice myself to others, my family, and especially my Wife. You told me to love my wife as Christ loves the Church, but there are all to many time that I have failed to do so.

I see a battle for my soul taking place and I know that you are there to comfort and watch over me through it. I release all my control to you. I want you to guide me, show me the path I am to take, help my feet to walk in the direction that you have provided for me. I know that in the past I have rejected you and gone from your word. But even then you watched over me, just waiting for the moment when I would except you as my God, and your son Christ Jesus as my Savior.

I am letting you know that I am going to walk with you for the rest of my days, be the man you want me to be. I know that if I start to fall off the path, you will be there to catch me. I know that if a obstacle gets in my way, you will help me over. That if temptation comes to my door, you will lock it out. I have faith in you God, that all will be alright. I thank you for letting me serve you. Please watch over my family and those around us.

    Love your son,
     Aaron J. Smith